April 25, 2009

Life Lessons for Ants

1. Stay with the group. When people see a lone ant they go, "Ah! An ant! Kill it!" But when they see a group they go, "Ah! A group of ants! Let's move over there..."

2. Never follow a stranger's pheromone trail. They may lead you to a dark alley and try to steal your leaf.

3. You are much more terrifying under a microscope or projector screen. Use this to your advantage as often as possible.

4. If a human spills something sticky, avoid it at all costs; no matter how many of your friends are playing in it. It may look incredibly appealing, but it offers you no long term benefit, and may cost you your life.

5. If it's your job to store nectar, you must resist the urge to pee or your colony will lose days of work and possibly starve to death.

6. Enjoy the larval and pupal stages of your life as much as you can while they last. One day you'll have to work for your food... And you'll never get to stop.

7. It is not an honor to become a forager. This means you're too old and about to die anyway.

8. Consider yourself blessed and cursed if you're a male born with wings. Your only purpose in life is to eat and have sex... But after you have sex, you die.

9. Use caution around caterpillars. Some have a gland that secretes honeydew when you massage them, but others will trick you into taking them home to eat your larvae. You are smarter than this.

10. Usurping the queen's throne is impossible. You are simply a pawn.


  1. This is odd. My brother's watching A Bug's Life upstairs. #1 is very true, I get intimidated around a massive group of ants attacking a sandwich on the ground.

  2. HAHAHA! ^o^ This is hilarious!!!

  3. Okay I'm scared.. shocked and awe is more like it.. how is it that my future husband knows this much about ants? Scary...These are new talents to me! lol.. love u <3